Spiderweb Bookmarks (I fell in love tomorrow)

Can I borrow your heart? I left mine at home.
Chewed up a stick of expectation and hid it under my shoe.
My words are so "fuck you" except I don't really want to -
Oh, maybe with your head when you forget to lock the doors at night.
Threw boulders at your window because I ran out of pebbles.
The glass cuts through the draft and publishes the misprints.
Tpyotakllikeapryowhensngiinghapypbrithdya.
I miss the spaces in between and hate the emptiness of everything
We say but never mean (it).
"Can I borrow your heart?"
Only if I can paint the walls of my head with your tongue.

Get in line.

Today is The Sequel To Last Night's Dream

I fall asleep with paper clay lungs,
Breathing hollow inspiration
Made from non-local colour.
Your tongue is the medium,
Your touch, a soaked sponge;
Leave me dripping love into my guts.
Choke.
Don't remodel what you won't keep safe.
Alarm clock awake, and art gallery peaceful;
Go back to sleep.

He Says The Bloodstains Are From Yesterday, But The Bleach Calls His Bluff

Homemade holy water doesn't wash away synthetic sins.
Throwing Chinese vases to the ground so you have something to fix.
We'd all take roses over sunflowers anyday.
Taking half steps to the last train so you can call him up to ask for a lift.
Letting her press her lips against you,
Just to watch the arteries spill love onto her hands.
Portrait smiles and silhouette photographs.
These aren't the kind of songs you get off to -
They're the kind of lies that fuck you.

Welcome Mats and Locked Doors

Incessant word juggling
Notes to sel(f/l)
Ticktockticktocktocktick
Evening empty eyes
Roll over smiles
"Like back up tapes"
On/off switch
Pick up sticks
Electric eccentricity

R is for Rabbit
onmymind

Name: Girl

Cell phone numbers bought on two faced receipts.
Love's a fucking novelty.
Half past ten and three missed calls;
Forgive me if I second guess this.
I let my voice of reason take a break.
She didn't get home til sixAM.
Diet wallets and bulimic hearts.
Text messages and hallelujahs have me wincing,
And sordid curiosity has me smiling.
This is Karma when she's had a bad day.
Wake up tomorrow to find the clovers leafless.
Rewind. Record. Reread.
Opened the cage to set Polly free; only to find her unbreathing.
Everybody look at their shoes.
Leave my hands on your neck
"Cliches are the new new."

Warning Signs and Last Minutes ("Heart Breaker, Dream Maker, Love Taker")

Feet chained to pebbles from the path outside your house.
My impact doesn't disturb the waters.
I've never sunk faster than this.
Won't try to save myself because my fingers never reach the surface.
Girls break hearts.
Every touch to my arm is a push closer to the edge of the cliff.
I'm done with jumping.
Warm skin against cool marble rethinking nights in kitchen blackouts.
You be the milk and I be the biscuit.
I look better drowning.
Locked cupboards filled with niceties and erect little fingers.
Minimize the mess.
I forget my place and burn boiling water.
Left the toaster in the sink three days ago,
and forgot to clean the spoons.
You're smile's a magnet glued to the refrigerator door.
I want to spill you on the kitchen floor.
Drip. Drip. Drip.
Honey and salt don't mix well together.
I wake up thinking if this isn't the best place to dream,
You aren't the best thought to fall asleep to.

Frozen in place with cold feet.
It's risking falling apart versus going no where.
Nobody told me the path of self-destruction was a circle.
I can't get used to the feel of my heart beat.
Animate our words and skip to 'goodbye.'
The clean space on the wall is for fillers and surface talk.
But she already knew that when she moved in.
I don't want to think of you.
Another backpack full of undeveloped film
to be buried in a pile of letters.
I's, U's, and xo's leaving prints through the pages.
The more we write, the more the lines blur,
Until "I hope" feels invisible.
Flashbacks in the form of quotes and cliche lines -
I was reading more than marks beside my sense of rationality.
What's the answer to this?
I hang up before you tell me you won't be back,
And disconnect in case you never call again.
Freeze yourself until the fever dies.
With my head in hands and eyes squeezed hard,
The only one I see is half asleep.

Fear of Flight

This is a winning hand
And the longer I hang on
The more my fingers tremble
Shiver like you feel the same
I could blow this chance
Or forever ache
Fate is deceiving like love
The card castle is not a fortress
And these hands are not safety nets
Every turn of your head away
is breath to all I have left

Locksmith

You're a tattoo on my eyelids and I'm dreaming this at best.
The pulsing isn't only in my chest;
Getting off to thoughts of you.
(The hint of repetition is omitted.)
These melodies are substitutes for a voice I haven't heard yet.
Screams into arms and pillowcases.
Cheek against the bathroom walls.
Towels and blankets in laundry baskets.
You meet my eyes and my blinks are laced with false hope.
Don't do this to me.
Choke and gasp.
"Give me a hand with this..."

Incessant Insecurities

Unbearable aches
Faint tastes of blood.
Imaginary pot plants
An invisible picket fence,
Smiles
'I love you's
Sandwiches in glad wrap.
Text messages
Late night emails
A twenty dollar bill
Ripped pillowcase
Midnight nightmare
Inkless pens
Ripped letters
Homesick umbrellas
Scissors
Mascara
Empty foil packets
Keys
Codes
'I miss you so's
Bullets
What dignity?
Sheet of plastic under the desk
Dirty black socks
Faded black eyes
Lies made from fiction
Corridor high
You/Me
"I'm sorry"
Goodbyes

The Only Mark I've Got Is The Ink Smudge On My Cheek

The halls are bright.
Like hospitals.
Like morgues.
Like bathroom walls.
We are a grid of scribblers.
Regurgitation and frantic anticipation in liquid form
Melting over the chair onto the page
Onto the antique table.

Never does the silence come,
Ever sounding of shuffling,
Scratching,
Sickening,
Paper sliding.
And the moment of momentary halt in movement
has the hand jerking to the next minute

The knowledge that we fail to program into our system
sets off bombs in our family letter boxes.

WVFHF

Truth hides behind death.
We're blind seekers and quiet liars.
I'm lending strangers my voice for forty hours.
How do you walk in the shoes of those without feet to stand on?
I'm wanting bigger things than this.
Spare change in old ice-cream tubs.
Then you have saved a life
And the moral of the story is -
Whatever you believe to be

Makeshift Baby Doll

I've known the difference between the mask and the flesh -
Between you and me.
Between this and them.
From passing out to passing judgement,
Your dreams are old subtitled reruns.
Midnight wishes and sixteen years;
Thinking you're at the end,
Reverse/respell
You're at your end.
The minutes fade to black like drama.
Stop talking in reverse.
Your bandaids are made from sticky tape and dead skin.
That's all.

White Tube Nuke

I miss the smell of Autumn;
Dirt, leaves, candle wax, and bath soap.
This is the maple intermission.
Seasons change but the order stays the same.
I turn over every leaf on every tree,
But I forget to mow the lawn.

takeoutthetrash/emptymyhead

Winter Pillow

Value is a coin and you are porcelain.
"White?" "Gold."
We put love in boxes and seal the exits with ribbons.
The hammer slips from my hands
Nail and tact between lips.
I won't fix what won't exist.
The cafeteria empties;
I watch coffee warmth leave.

Goodnight Nocturnal

Replaced my lip balm with superglue
Saving this last kiss for a stranger
Press finger tips and palms together
Like tomorrow is two years from now
Spur of the moments get me stones in my pocket
Spent the alcohol on cleaning wounds,
and restocked the bottles with listerine
Turning heads risks breaking necks
Thread the needle with your tongue
This is homemade loneliness

im/plowed

I am a fairy;
Don't believe in me and I won't exist.
Why break my wand when you can break my spirit faster?
Today is bad luck only if you checked the date
I've got the calendar glued to my wrist,
Crossing the days off until I remember why I'm here.
[Thank You For Writing. This Is My Reply.]
I'm making wishes on your eyelashes.

"but it will."

Press my cheek against the bathroom tiles
The bubbles break and dissipate
Detergent for my insides
Soak and tame
You can't clean me without erasing me
Blink away the sting
Watch your love stain the floors
Tell me this disappoints you
And I'll restart the voice in my head
You are. "I am
Breaking the habit."
Through skin

bendthespring

I'm standing six feet from the shore
This is set in stone but I'd rather cast it to the ocean
Guilt and humiliation both suffocate -
Weighing down my chest and dragging on both shoulders
One paints my inside red; the other burns my outsides black
That's the last chance I'm ever taking
They're never mine to take
And I'm fed up with making foolish mistakes

Sell Fish, Buy Guns

"How could I not see this coming with my eyes on my back?
You place an umbrella in my hand only to rain on me.
She reads my mind like a book ripped open;
You'd prefer the magazine.
I'm the first one standing and the first stood up.
This is incomplete (like waiting for the sequel).
The production is dying to be cancelled.
You pull away and say my emotions fall like dominoes.
"I am a chain reaction."
Sorry, did you need that?
Your empathy is a slap to the face."

My Words Are Open (Ended)

First impressions can never be right
We change too fast for an opinion to stick
But I'm still stuck thinking, "You're not who I thought you were"
It's not so much decieving on your part, as it is naivete on mine
I wish things were simpler than just 'you and me'
And more complicated than a minute glance

Give Up on Giving Up

I fill my ears with staples to pierce out the noise
What's worse is your accusations echo off the walls but slice straight through me
The ball's in my court, but 'love' is worth nothing here
I forfeit but this is more than a game and we both know/won't admit it
The sunlight slips away in sync with your warmth
Find me the cure for somniphobia
We're sleeping with eyes wide

Words That End in 'X'

I'm having an affair with bad days
Can't make it to the phone incase you call
It's cold a top of paper mountain
I'm lighting fires everywhere but under myself
I've crashed and won't restart
Amputate the jealousy
Sell me out and keep the change

sleepinalarm

Forgetting the umbrella usually means the sky forgets to clear
This mingles easily like smiles and lies
Empty spaces don't fill voids
Sad lines and red lines don't make poets
Don't sell souls without receipts
Spend every pretty penny on every pretty girl
You're pretty fucking (stupid)
The world works in cycles but I don't work at all
Cash me in

Herion/e

We don't fit together anymore
Print numbers on the back of puzzles
Frustration and matches
They go hand in hand
We don't
Fit together
Anymore
There's a headache in my chest
You are morphine
And gone
Red Amber Green

Letter #12 (Count Down With Me)

Why do you care so much about what the purpose of living is?
I care more about finding something that makes life worth living.
I want to find something that makes me smile/cry.
I just want to do something.
Why would you be eager to reach the end, when there's nothing at the end?
All that forced death brings to anybody is the feeling of being cheated
(And I don't just mean for the dead)
"Dear Lisa, don't be selfish."
If you have achieved nothing, then go out and fucking achieve something.
Call me when you've got tickets to your show to sell me.

"You walk down that red carpet; you're walking down the aisle."

Don't start with me
And there will be nothing to end
Everything comes easier with practice
Living is but an exception
Happiness is just an excuse
Commit to this and I'll sign the cheque

Wht I Wnt 2 Say [One pls mns one= 4327827325]

Say, little girl, be careful
She might not be who you think she is
Rejection is but a serious glance away
On one hand you could reach the finish line
On the other, you could trip and sprain your ankle
Not everything ends happily
And not everyone feels the same as you do
I'm sure you knew that already though
"Tell Charlotte nothing"
.hesitate

Lucid Dream Nostalgia

She says I taste like concert sweat
I lean in and she leans away
I think I just miss the pressing of lips
(Anyone would do right now, but-)
There's enough guilt weighing on each shoulder
My fingertips have gone blue
Our foreheads kiss
I flinch awake
Spoons, forks and kitchen knives
I'm homesick, and I've forgotten where I live

Rattle The Train Tracks

I want to talk to someone who knows words inside out
Show me the best place to hide and nail my ankles to the stage
Else I want a girl who likes blowing bubbles and meaninglessness
Just as much as she likes silence and whispering in my ear
Act out an alternate ending where the opera stays serene
"We're past the point of no return."
I'm ignoring the signs; taking a left at a right
The destination is the last thing on my mind
And you are the first
Move in sync with me
This was so anticlimatic.

"Are You By Any Chance The Same Person?"

Detach the nerves from my legs and hands
Don't move in sync. Don't move in sync.
My mouth is already disconnected from my head
I speak too fast and think too slow
(Tokyo screams extremes)
Am I saying what I mean
And hearing what I want to?
Define me/refine me until I am perfect
Someone fucking control me
It's a playground in my head but I'm not having any fun

Dirty The Drywall

I am like paint
A swirl of thick white acrylic on an empty wall
And I've never liked myself
The more I try to change me
Splattering lovesong blues and throw-up greens
The darker it gets
I can't scrape off regrets after they stick and dry
"Don't be silly"
I am a child
Disturbed by things I shouldn't have knowledge of
Maybe I just want to be praised
I won't believe it, so what use would that be
And then: What's the point of anything?
You must have known. You must have known
Criticize yourself for a change
I am a contradiction of what I say
Tape my mouth and kiss me
Ironic and sardonic , desperate for something nonplatonic
Break me like a bar of chocolate
Feel me melt against your tongue and leave a sour taste in your mouth
When the next meal comes you'll drown me out
I took the deepest breath and ripped a hole in my lungs
I am amused to the point of hysteria
So lock me up.
Choking
On you.
Hate like a masterpiece
Beautifully

Panda Girl Sleeps Through Piece

I become attached
A sordid possessiveness for people
No one belongs (to me)
And it distorts into jealousy.
An unreasonable protectiveness
For material things
I keep back up copies of all
People and toys
Substitutes discarded unlike credit cards.
My wallet is not happy with me
Much like my circle
Hold me. Hold me.
I like sitting at tranquil wharfs, making electric noise.

'Sick' Would Be A Good Excuse

Depression is not anger
And I was-am not me
Everything strikes like a chord
Repeated
Like lectures retold
I wish I didn't care so much
About everyone not me
Kill the cat and the conscience
Bury them in a shoebox in my backyard
I'll see them again when I want to
But right now I don't need to count sheep
I fall asleep to the thoughts of
Nothing

And I am-was not me

A Relapse Singing 'I Can't Do This'

Pressing panic buttons
And losing keys to panic rooms
Falling asleep under the bullet
Blinking awake to the feel of cold sweat
And shots to the breeze
They go unnoticed
Fading into the forgotten