Always and Unchanging

Blur the outlines
Sand down edges
Pour plaster into the gaping holes
That keep getting wider, deeper, steeper
The inside of outsiders
Fill the cracks with cotton
Or whatever you keep in your pillow
Fill the void
Fill the void
The empty space where you should be
So be there
The foundation for my house of sanity
Don't let my lungs collapse on my heart

Questions and answers,
The same questions get the same answers
Am I wrong(ed) when replies are apologies?
Or silent avoidance.
Steady streams of uneasy silence.
Metronome answers, thick and muffled like thuds on carpet,
Or fleeting footsteps on sand.
Tongue-tips flicking on roofs,
(On loop)
Of mouths that won't open for me.
Plier teeth and pliant lips.
The answer in sync,
Down the sink.
A chorus played in all the wrong notes;
Confessions are mistakes.
Your eyes chasing mine,
For a moment.
"Don't catch on."
I play catch up.
Crash/collide

Masochistic addict of fractures
Opening letters and finding the same letters
On every single fucking page.
Identical envelopes.
Identical signs -
Just different postcodes.
They hate the word 'always' and the idea of.
Always and unchanging.
No or sorry
Junk mail or empty letterboxes
So leave me hanging
On the same hook

The future is bleak and there's nothing else
But to wait for tomorrow to come
Again and again and again

Blink

City lights remind me we're alive -
At least on the outside.
Looking for pedestrian crossings and the closest 7/11.
Don't forget (the/to) change.
To be honest, sometimes I hate consistency.
I live my life in the form of notes and scribbles on the back of hands.
Buy me a drink and I'll sell you my old soul.
Sorry, I'm always busy because you're always trying to call.
Ring ring ring I never loved you.
City lights remind me we're alive -
Even when we don't want to be.
Can you hear it?
The sound of cars and the homeless man rolling in his makeshift grave outside Central station.
Can you hear it?
Heartbeats and dial-tones in and out of sync with knocks at doors of ex-girlfriends.
Can you hear it?
The never blinking city breathing life into its veins, its streets, and its black market alleyways.
Can you hear it?
Plug in the headphones, and drown out the noise.
Tap your feet to the beat, and sing out loud.
Conversation-pollution.
City lights remind me we're alive -
You and me, breathing in the same space.
Space space s p a c e.
Hurry up and die for me.
I want to fall in love and for once have someone catch me.
But I never liked the whole dependency thing, I'd rather jump and land on two feet.
Stop falling in love - or whatever they call it.
She's a friend of a friend of a friend of someone I used to like.
Nobody knows anyone.
I hate presumptions and assumptions but sometimes they're all I've got.
Draw your conclusions in permanent marker on the back of a train station bathroom door.
City lights remind me we're alive -
So flick them on and off.
We feel worse than we look, but only when nobody else is looking.
Still looking at you.
City lights remind me we're alive.
I love the sight of bright lights,
In a city that needs pills to sleep.

Like Returning a Video (Only My Heart's Not On Loan)

She piles the rocks around the river almost like she gives a damn.
You slide into the waters unprepared -
"I left my regrets inside your pillowcase for safekeeping."
Lost my head in the wash.
Remove your hands from around my waist and keep them at my throat.
'Breathless' and 'suffocation' aren't so different when you're a smile away from tears.
Replay the strikeout.
Track seventeen sounds the same aloud, only the beats refuse to play again.
Couldn't bring yourself to clip the wires.
"Red and yellow shine the same."
Too late to think with the numbers in your head.
Time me running from you to yesterday.
"I take it back." I take it back?
'I'm sorry' means to drop a girl's heart,
But you don't want to watch it stain the kitchen floor.
Leave me back against the door, humming lovesongs in reverse
Into a bottle. Into a bucket. Into the bathroom sink.
Poison what's left swimming in the river
And leave the smell of Autumn in the clothes the sun won't dry.

This Chair Aint Big Enough For The Both of Us

She won't ask for what she wants because she's certain it's what he wants.
Pride tastes like your hand in my hair. Shoving my finger down my throat and coughing out hairballs.
Through the blinds, through the window, through the air between us:
Flashes of self control.
Tha-dump. Tha-dump. Tha-da-da-da-dump.
My heart's fallen asleep in my throat.
"Wake up in a car" or "in the kitchen in a chair."
Tellmehowyoufeeltodaytodayandtomorrow.
What did we feel yesterday?
I'll write a play where I'm you and you're me, just so we can laugh.
'The Chronicles of a Tragic Joke.'
You get the credit, but I get the phone calls.
Pick (me) up.
Pretend my name means heartbreak and cry it out before you sleep at night.
Lights off, five minutes before backstage turns into a pumpkin.
Action
Like from a movie in a cheap motel.

We're both 37°C until you blush